I cannot tell you how to behave, feel or live your life, but I can show you from which place you will do your best and enjoy life the most.
State of mind is everything. You have probably noticed how different the world looks between when you are caught up in your stress full and anxious thinking (low state of mind) and when you’re calm, clear-minded and connected (high state of mind). Our state of mind changes all the time without us doing anything or anything happening in our circumstances, it just seems to be how it is, though it seems like the more truth we see about how our mind and life work the more time we spent in a higher state of mind.
A fixed set of behaviors is not good for living life. We are all different and what occurs to us to do can be very different from individual to individual and from one situation to another, even though the situation might be the same.
If we shouldn’t rely on fixed behaviors for living life then what?
We are born with a system that has innate wisdom build into it and it will guide us through life if we let it.
Think about this, how do you know when …
You have to go to the toilet?
You are hungry?
You are in love?
You are tired?
You are happy?
I’m guessing your answer is something along with “I can feel it”. No other explanation needed, it’s as simple as that.
The problem is often, that we have so much thinking about the “right” way of being and doing life. Most of us haven’t grown up with people who support our innate wisdom and help us build confidence in it. We are taught to look outside for the right answers. The problem can be, that there is no “right” answer there are only answers. You have probably noticed how many ideas that pop into your mind, some of them will feel right to act on and others won’t. Sometimes the idea that felt right may turn out afterward not to have been the best cause of action at that moment, but how could you have known otherwise? You only knew what you knew. Other times an answer will just appear in your mind and be exactly what is needed at the moment.
If you are afraid of making mistakes and feeling uncomfortable, chances are that you will have a hard time hearing your inner wisdom, because you will have a lot of mental noise in your mind.
“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
This is just another way of saying what I wrote above.
We are not taught to believe in ourselves and the path life shows us.
We are not supported believing that we have our own music. We, therefore, try to listen to other people’s music and learn their dance steps in our pursuit of happiness and success. The only problem with that is, it’s their music. You can’t really hear their music, just as others can’t hear yours. We can only see how it’s performed.
But if you actually start to listen in order to understand another human being instead of listening to reply, you can get a feel for their music.
I think the way many of us have looked for inspiration is probably through the glasses of self-doubt and the belief “given I’m not enough, how can I improve myself”. You have probably noticed that it’s often when you feel uncomfortable and when the things you are up to in life, just doesn’t work out the way you want them too, that you think something is wrong and you look to others for better beliefs and behaviors to help you get life just right.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t seek the counsel of others or get a mentor. I’d advice you to seek a mentor who draws your innate potential out of you.
If you want to look to others for inspiration, be curious about what they see about life, since they show up in the world the way they do. Don’t look for a set of behaviors, that is downstream. Look upstream for what is before behavior and that is thought. what do they see about life that makes them able to live a lot of it from a place of ease, peace of mind, love and a subtle but strong confidence.
What is peace of mind? It’s the experience of having peace within. At first, I thought it was something that was only present in the absence of certain thoughts, but now I see it is beyond our personal thinking, it’s our natural state of mind. I’ve experienced it while being sad, frustrated, discouraged, nervous, insecure and afraid. Peace of mind isn’t a feeling that stands by itself. it’s the space where our thoughts and feelings reside.
Confidence comes from seeing, who you are in the moment and what you bring will be enough and believing that life will bring you what you need when you need it. It has nothing to do with years of experience or level of skill. It has really not much to do with you as an individual person, but more you as a spiritual being. If you can show up and be present, that will be enough. If you just stick to what you see in every moment, you cannot go wrong.
Don’t get up in your head about high/low state of mind, peace of mind, confidence and so on. It’s just me putting words to feelings, it’s all subjective. You have already experienced it in your life. Go inside and look for yourself.
To sum it all up. High state of mind and following your inner music is different ways of pointing to the same place.
When you are in that place in you, you will do your best, but not always the “right” thing and you won’t always be amazing, but it will all be okay either way.